Relapse gone out of control instead of just cutting there is more. Ans it even feels better.
So I applied for a job, but now I have to wait till they respond, and I don’t like waiting, because I can’t wait and do other things at the same time sometimes which is really weird. But today a package will be delivered and I just can’t study because I have to wait for the package.
I want to cut my whole skin open. Every part of my legs I want it covered in scars. I want to take all the pills I have in the house and drink all the alcohol we have. I want to break all the furniture in my room, like really bad. I want to cut every piece of skin I have. I want to burn myself. I want to punch myself, i want to create bruises, I fricking love bruises. I want to be the most selfdestructive person alive. But I shouldn’t and the struggle is so hard..
I feel so bad and I am unable to concentrate but yet i have to do so many things and i just really feel like if I don’t do it i will fail this whole module but all i can do is stress out about not doing it but I can’t get myself to work. I am just doing nothing.