I want to cut more I want to bruise more I just really want to make one big mess of myself

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Relapse gone out of control instead of just cutting there is more. Ans it even feels better.

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This is such a bad week. I lost my card, I ordered the wrong package and I am unable to concentrate on school. Tomorrow we have tutorial group again and it is going to be so bad…

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So I applied for a job, but now I have to wait till they respond, and I don’t like waiting, because I can’t wait and do other things at the same time sometimes which is really weird. But today a package will be delivered and I just can’t study because I have to wait for the package. 

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Trigger warning: self destruction

I want to cut my whole skin open. Every part of my legs I want it covered in scars. I want to take all the pills I have in the house and drink all the alcohol we have. I want to break all the furniture in my room, like really bad. I want to cut every piece of skin I have. I want to burn myself. I want to punch myself, i want to create bruises, I fricking love bruises. I want to be the most selfdestructive person alive. But I shouldn’t and the struggle is so hard..

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Why can’t my boyfriend understand that I sometimes just feel really bad without a clear reason and that I just DON’T want to talk about it.. I just awrg

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Lately all I want to do is sleep. I just wanna sleep all day, and nothing more. 

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I feel so bad and I am unable to concentrate but yet i have to do so many things and i just really feel like if I don’t do it i will fail this whole module but all i can do is stress out about not doing it but I can’t get myself to work. I am just doing nothing. 

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